A New Year's Influence

Over the years of our lives there are many people who influence us. These are individuals who have crossed our paths and shown us the great gifts of God’s love, grace, peace and patience. There are many people I would thank for their loving influence on my life. If I was to make one resolution it would be that God would change my heart, fill it with Himself so that He will shine out of my life. Then those around me would not see Mike, but Jesus and be drawn to Him.

Brennan Manning tells of one such individual in his life.

“Dominique Voillaume has influenced my life as few people ever have. One New Year's morning in Saint-Remy, France, seven of us in the community of the Little Brothers of Jesus were seated at a table in an old stone house. We were living an uncloistered, contemplative life among the poor, with the days devoted to manual labor and the nights wrapped in silence and prayer.

The breakfast table talk grew animated when our discussion turned to our daily employment. A German brother remarked that our wages were substandard (sixty cents per hour). I commented that our employers never were seen in the parish church on Sunday morning. A French brother suggested that this showed hypocrisy A Spanish brother said they were rude and greedy The tone grew more caustic and the salvos got heavier. We concluded that our avaricious bosses were nasty self-centered cretins who slept all day Sunday and never once lifted their minds and hearts in thanksgiving to God.

Dominique sat at the end of the table. Throughout our harangue he never opened his mouth. I glanced down the table and saw tears rolling down his cheeks. "What's the matter, Dominique?" I asked. His voice was barely audible.

All he said was, "Its ne comprennent pas." They don't understand! How many times since that New Year's morning has that single sentence of his turned resentment of mine into compassion? How often have I reread the passion story of Jesus in the Gospels through the eyes of Dominique Voillaume, seen Jesus in the throes of his death agony beaten and bullied, scourged and spat upon, saying, "Father, forgive them, its ne comprennent pas."

The following year, Dominique, a lean, muscular six feet, two inches, always wearing a navy blue beret, learned at age fifty-four that he was dying of inoperable cancer. With the community's permission he moved to a poor neighborhood in Paris and took a job as night watchman at a factory. Returning home every morning at 8:oo A.M. he would go directly to a little park across the street from where he lived and sit down on a wooden bench. Hanging around the park were marginal people-drifters, winos, "has-beens," dirty old men who ogled the girls passing by.

Dominique never criticized, scolded, or reprimanded them. He laughed, told stories, shared his candy and accepted them just as they were. From living so long out of the inner sanctuary he gave off a peace, a serene sense of self-possession and a hospitality of heart that caused cynical young men and defeated old men to gravitate toward him like bacon toward eggs. His simple witness lay in accepting others as they were without questions and allowing them to make themselves at home in his heart.

Dominique was the most nonjudgmental person I have ever known. He loved with the heart of Jesus Christ. One day when the ragtag group of rejects asked him to talk about himself, Dominique gave them a thumbnail description of his life. Then he told them with quiet conviction that God loved them tenderly and stubbornly that Jesus had come for rejects and outcasts just like themselves.

His witness was credible because the Word was enfleshed on his bones. Later one old-timer said, "The dirty jokes, vulgar language, and leering at girls just stopped."

One morning Dominique failed to appear on his park bench. The men grew concerned. A few hours later, he was found dead on the floor of his cold-water flat. He died in the obscurity of a Parisian slum.

Dominique Voillaume never tried to impress anybody, never wondered if his life was useful or his witness meaningful. He never felt he had to do something great for God. He did keep a journal. It was found shortly after his death in the drawer of the nightstand by his bed. His last entry is one of the most astonishing things I have ever read: ‘All that is not the love of God has no meaning for me. I can truthfully say that I have no interest in anything but the love of God which is in Christ Jesus. If God wants it to, my life will be useful through my word and witness. If he wants it to, my life will bear fruit through my prayers and sacrifices. But the usefulness of my life is his concern, not mine. It would be indecent of me to worry about that.’

In Dominique Voillaume I saw the reality of a life lived entirely for God and for others. After an all-night prayer vigil by his friends, he was buried in an unadorned pine box in the backyard of the Little Brothers' house in Saint-Remy. A simple wooden cross over his grave with the inscription: ‘Dominique Voillaume, a witness to Jesus Christ" said it all. More than seven thousand people gathered from all over Europe to attend his funeral.’"

Brennan Manning in the Signature of Jesus, pages97-99

UnChristian

I am currently reading a book entitled, UnChristian. It is a book put out by the Barna Institute about why a vast majority of those between the ages of 18 and 35 see Christianity in such a negative light and how can we as Christians connect with them.

It would appear from this research that Christians have become known for what they oppose rather than what they stand for. We are seen as being anti-homosexual, judgmental and hypocritical. Christians are seen as being arrogant and filled with self-importance. Christians are seen as really being uncaring about the individual. At the best they feel like they are only seen as a possible convert. The majority of this generation see Christianity as being old fashioned, too involved in politics, out of touch with reality, insensitive toward others, boring and confusing. (From the book UnChristian) These feelings toward Christians come from what this age group has encountered in their contacts with Christians.

How do we engage this culture? We must learn to see everyone as an individual with individual needs, struggles and desires. We need to learn to listen. We listen to their story without being quick with answers or judgmental. We must learn to dialogue with them and respect their opinions and feelings. We need to become involved in their lives. We GO into the world and not just SIT in our pews. We live out the grace that our Lord has given us. We do not water down nor candy coat the truths of Jesus, yet we discern how, when and where the Spirit wants us to share those truths.

I think this is an important area that we need to consider. There are 24 million individuals between the ages of 18 and 35. These are people who Jesus loves and cares about. Yet, only about 1 million of them are involved in a personal walk with Jesus. What is He calling us to do and be?

Where's Jesus?

I remember reading about a nursing student who was taking her final exam for becoming a nurse. One of the questions on her final exam was, “What is the name of the woman who cleans the floors in this building where you have taken your classes?” The lady was upset by the question. It seemed to have nothing to do with her chosen profession. She went up to her professor and asked, “Is this a real question?”

“Oh yes,” He replied. “You will meet many people in your profession. People with real needs and who serve selflessly. You need to learn to call them by name, for they are important too.”

Jesus said this in Mathew 25:40, “What you have done unto the least of these you have done unto me.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer writes: “With that we are faced with the shocking reality: Jesus stand at the door and knocks, in complete reality. He asks you for help in the form of a beggar, in the form of a ruined human in torn clothing. He confronts you in every person that you meet. Christ walks on the earth as your neighbor as long as there are people…Christ stand at the door. He lives in the form of the person in our midst. Will you keep the door locked or open it?” (From: A Year with Dietrich Bonhoeffer; page 382)

Christmas is a time when we are confronted with the reality of Jesus being here in our midst. That is what Immanuel means: “God with us.” Those who look for Jesus want to see him in the miraculous and the supernatural. Too often they miss him in the plain and ordinary. For that is where he appears the most. In Hebrews 13:2 we are told: “Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.” NIV

Jesus is there in that harried and worried single mother who cuts you off on her way home to see her children after a hard day at work. Jesus is there in that co-worker who has an attitude that grates on your nerves. Jesus is there in that man who stands on the corner with the sign that reads: “Will work for food.” Jesus is there in that traffic snarl that will make you and hour and a half late for work.

A pastor writes: “On an icy winter night two weeks before Christmas, I was at O’Hare Airport. All flights had been canceled due to fog and freezing rain. The airport terminal was in bedlam. Thousands of people were clustered at ticket counters demanding a projected departure time, others were wrapped in stoic silence. Children were crying, the public address system was blaring and the defeated were bellying up to the bar. I was tense and apprehensive. I had to get to Texas to start a retreat the next day. How can the Gospel be preached in Dallas if the weather won’t shape up in Chicago?

Across from the plastic chair I had slumped in was a middle-aged black woman with a child cradled in her arms. She was laughing. The world was collapsing, thousands were stranded, O’Hare was a shrieking snake pit and she was laughing! Irritated but intrigued, I started watching her. She was rubbing her fingers across the child’s lips, and he was blowing mightily: ‘Brhh, Brhh, Brhh.”

She looked up and saw me staring. ‘Ma’am,’ I said, ‘every other person here tonight is rattled and miserable. Would you mind telling me why you’re so happy?’

‘Sho’,’ she said, ‘Christmas is coming and dat baby Jesus—he make me laugh.’” (Brannan Manning, Lion and Lamb, pages 156-157)

I'm Thankful for

Thanksgiving is just a week away. As I consider all the things I should be thankful for, I am often drawn to some thoughts that were written by a lady who considered her life and all the things she was grateful for. I read it almost every Thanksgiving. It reminds me of the all my blessings that come disguised as “bumps in the road” of life. Here it is:

I'm thankful for all of the things we are all thankful for -family and home and job and country and its freedoms, food and clothing and material blessings, salvation and the church and the fellowship of believers.

But the things I'm especially thankful for are the lessons I've learned from life.

I'm thankful I was born and reared in poverty, for I learned to live simply and to appreciate what I have.

I'm thankful for my infirmities, because they taught me to better enjoy my health.

I'm thankful for fire and flood, because in losing my possessions I learned to "lay up treasures in heaven" and to share what I have as others have shared with me.

I'm thankful for my goings astray, for they taught me to trade my self-righteousness for understanding and compassion.

I'm thankful for my miscarriages, for they taught me how special my children are.

I'm thankful for a failed marriage, because I learned to fully appreciate a strong and loving and caring marriage.

I'm thankful for my losses, because they taught me which gains are really important.

I'm thankful for my failures that taught me humility and my successes that gave me the will to try again.

I'm thankful for criticisms and reprimands and the truth spoken in love, for these have keep me on the straight path.

I'm thankful for hate and indifference, for I've learned to love and accept love.

I'm thankful for friends who never gave up on me, for they are more precious than gold and taught me about real friendship.

I'm thankful for the roads I've traveled, however muddy and potholed, for they have led me to the foot of the Cross. Through the lessons I've learned and by the grace of God they shall lead me day by day closer to the One who loves and forgives and draws all men unto himself.

Spiritual control

“We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God…” (1 Corinthians 2:12) The question is not, “Do you have the Spirit?” But, “Does the Spirit have you?” It is a question of control. What does it mean if the Holy Spirit is in control?

It means that you are growing spiritually and are not stagnant. Stagnant water stinks and brings death to those who drink it. Growth brings life and health to you and those around you.
If God’s Spirit is in control you are beyond the world’s opinions. It no longer matters what people think of you, it only matters what God thinks of you. You have a spiritual backbone. You are bold, courageous and will share your faith with anyone.

When the Spirit is in control you realize that when you are weak you are strong. You must draw not from your own power, wisdom and strength. You must draw from God’s. His power, wisdom and strength is much greater than yours and so you are much better off.

When the Spirit is in control and life brings storms into your life you are peaceful and calm. Why is this so? When the wind blows across the ocean, it creates huge waves. They wash away the sand and sculpt the beach. Yet, just a few feet below the surface, all is calm. The storm is the wind of The Holy Spirit blowing across our lives. If we are only one inch deep, our entire live is in turmoil. Yet, if we are extremely deep, then most of our life is calm.

The waves created by God wash the sand and dirt out of our lives. The wind driven waves display God’s power and make it difficult to walk against God.

When the Spirit is in control we are not anxious about this. We are refreshed by the cleansing of the Spirit driven waves that wash away the stains of life. If we should turn against the tide of God’s Spirit we immediately notice the change in pressure against us and quickly turn back in God’s direction. Just some thoughts about the Spirit controlled life.

CLAWS

There was a pastor who had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and then was afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc. The kitty would not come down. The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so the pastor decided that if he tied a rope to his car and drove away so that the tree bent down, he could then reach up and get the kitten. He did all this, checking his progress in the car frequently, then figured if he went just a little bit further, the tree would be bent sufficiently for him to reach the kitten.

But as he moved a little further forward....the rope broke. The tree went "boing!" and the kitten instantly sailed through the air-out of sight. The pastor felt terrible. He walked all over the neighborhood asking people if they'd seen a little kitten. No. Nobody had seen a stray kitten. So he prayed, "Lord, I just commit this kitten to Your keeping," and went on about his business.

A few days later he was at the grocery store, and met one of his church members. He happened to look into her shopping cart and was amazed to see cat food. Now this woman was a cat hater and everyone knew it, so he asked her, “Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats so much?"

She replied, “You won't believe this," and told him how her little girl had been begging her for a cat, but she kept refusing. Then a few days before, the child had begged again, so the mom finally told her little girl, "Well, if God gives you a cat, I'll let you keep it." She told the pastor, "I watched my child go out in the yard, get on her knees, and ask God for a cat. And really, Pastor, you won't believe this, but I saw it with my own eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out of the blue sky, with its paws spread out, and landed right in front of her."

The Journey of WOW

I remember reading about many of the saints of old and seeing the depths of their walk with God. I wondered what it would take to develop that kind of walk with God today. The only thing I knew to do was to pray about it. So I added to my daily prayers, “Lord, I want to know you in a deeper and richer way.”

I wondered what would happen. I just knew that after I had prayed that prayer for a while, the miracle would happen and God would supernaturally pour out his Spirit upon me and I would be WOWED! I knew that there would be a new fire in my heart and a greater power in my life.

Day passed into day. Week passed into week. Before I realized it, a year had gone by and nothing had happened. Perhaps I was not praying the prayer right. Maybe there was something more I needed to do. Fasting! Yes, that was what I needed to add to this prayer. I began to fast weekly, asking God for a deeper and richer walk with him.

Time passed and still no miracle, no great moment of lightning and godly power. What was it going to take? I was sincere. I was committed. Was there something more that I needed to do?

It so happened that I was playing for our church basketball team. One game as I was watching from the sidelines the referee made a wrong call against our team. That’s all right, the referee is only human. He will make mistakes. Then he made another wrong call against us. No problem. I was then sent into the game. A few moments later, he made a bad call against me. Was that my temperature going up? Then it happened again. I could feel my temper rising. I knew that I needed to be removed from the game before I said something… well…ungodly.

The next day as I entered my prayer time, I thought back to the game. I was sure that I had matured in my walk with the Lord where a bad call in a game that was played for fun would not affect me. What was going on?

“Lord,” I prayed, “I don’t understand. I was certain that this would not happen to me. What is going on?”

Then he spoke in that still, small voice, “You want to know me in a deeper and richer way. This is the way that will happen.”

“I don’t understand. What do you mean?”

“Mike, there is so much of you in you that there is not much more room for me. There are things you need to see about yourself. There is so much of that self you must die to, let go of.”

It occurred to me that I wanted to know God in a deeper and richer way for selfish reasons. I was so focused on me and what I wanted that I was missing what God was trying to say and do. This time of prayer and fasting was about ME not about God. With this awakening, God could begin to work in my heart and spirit to bring about the changes that would mature me, mold me into the image of the One I claimed to be following—Jesus.

Our journey in this life is about God working in our lives removing the deep seated self focus that is there. It is very difficult to see God when we only look at ourselves. How often are we wondering what God is doing, or where is God at? Is it because we are so wrapped up in us that we miss him? Then when God does answer our prayer, it is not what we expected, not what we wanted. If we are not careful anger, frustration and bitterness can arise in us rather than thankfulness and wonder for the Creator of all.

This revelation about me opened new horizons in my relationship with God. I began to see God in a deeper and richer way. The more I saw of God the less I understood him. The more I glimpsed of his character and love, the less I could grasp him. God is higher and greater than anyone can ever understand. We are not called to understand him. We are called to believe in him, trust him, let him change us and follow where he leads. Faith is not about understanding. Faith is about putting our hands into God’s and letting him walk us through the journey of our lives, knowing that whatever mountain we climb or valley we walk, he is there with us providing just what we need right when we need it.

The power of the deeper richer walk comes as we express our trust in God through the journey of life.

For the love Jesus?

We are richly blessed living in this country. We have many freedoms that we take for granted. Come with me a half a world away to a country in Asia. Listen to the story of a sister who is in bondage simply because of her faith in Jesus.

Azra Bibi, 20, was born in the Malik Saleem brick kiln. Her family, the only Christians in this Muslim community, spent each day doing back-breaking labor making hundreds of bricks.

"I am not educated. I liked to watch the other children going to school. I wanted to be a teacher of the Word of God, but my mother only earned $l.I4 per day. My father died and we lived hand to mouth. One day I decided to help my mother. I asked her, 'Mom, can you teach me how to make a brick?' I was seven years old when I made my first brick. Between the two of us, we made 1,000 bricks a day. On Fridays my mother and I used to go to the market to buy our daily household items. I always liked to shop. Sometimes I could buy clips for my hair.

"The kiln owner wouldn't allow us to go to church so my mother always told the owner, ‘We are going to see our relatives,' or 'We are going to the market.' I liked to see the church programs on Christmas day, especially the Christmas songs and plays. I also liked to hear about the miracles of Jesus Christ. Although we would not sneak to church every Sunday, every morning and in the evening my mother and I would pray. We sang worship songs from cassettes. One song went like this, 'I am weak in my heart; Jesus, encourage me and strengthen me.’

"The neighbors never liked it when we played the worship songs and many times tried to stop us. They tried to offer us many things, trying to convert us to Islam. Mother strongly refused all their offers, telling them, 'I have Jesus in my heart. There is no need for any thing else.' My mother had only one friend, Kershed Bibi, who was a Muslim. She had a gentle spirit and she always encouraged us.

"One day my mother asked me, 'Azra, please get some flour and let's go make some chapatti [bread].' We went outside to the community oven and met Mai Jana, an old Muslim lady who worked at this oven. When she saw us, she became very aggressive and said, 'You Christian dogs, rake your flour and get away from here. Your prophet was a Jewish dog.' My mother became very angry and replied, 'You can call me a Christian dog but never ever call our prophet these kinds of words.'

"Mai Jana stood up and started beating my mother. Other ladies joined in. They beat my mother very badly until she started bleeding. They also beat me. We both were wearing a small cross which the Muslim ladies snatched from our necks. Some Muslim men showed up and took us to the office of Malik Saleem Khokhar, the brick kiln owner. He was furious. He verbally abused us and locked us in a room.

"My mother and I were alone in that room, hugging each other and crying out, 'Oh God, why has this happened?' My mother cried, 'Oh God, Jesus is your Son. I love Him.' I prayed, 'Oh Jesus, I couldn't stand hearing what that lady was saying against You. Please help us and protect us.'

"It was about 10 p.m. when the brick kiln owner called for my mother. His assistant, Muhammad Akram, took her away. I was alone in the room, praying to the Lord, 'You are my everything. I don't have a father, brother or sister. Please protect us.'

"Mother never came back. I cried and prayed the whole night. For 10 days I was locked in that room. My mother's friend, Kershed Bibi, was allowed to give me food. Then she told me horrible news. She said, 'You are like my daughter. I don't know how to tell you this. Your mother is not in this
world now Azra don't cry, but pray to your God.'

"I was shocked and started crying as she told me what happened. 'The night Muhammad Akram took your mother to the kiln owner, they violated her and then chopped her body to pieces. They burned her body in the kiln.' I wept and I prayed. I was alone in this world."
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"Two days later, Muhammad Akram, one of the men who tortured and killed my mother, took me to another place. He locked me in a room of a big home. There was an armed security guard present.

"Muhammad Akram is a 7O-year-old man. He came into my room and made advances towards me. I cried. I joined my hands in prayer in front of him and begged him to stop, but he violated me. After he left I prayed, 'Oh Lord, it is good if You call me home; at least I will see You. I will stay with You and rest in peace. Jesus, I want to come to You. Please call me home.' I wanted to die.

"Muhammad Akram often came into my room. He kept trying to convert me to Islam. I told him, 'My God is an alive God. How can I leave the alive God and accept your faith?' He decided to force me to marry him. He and the kiln owner planned my wedding day for Friday, May' 26, 2006."

"I prayed day and night asking my Jesus, 'Please send me an angel. Who can release me from this bondage?' After seven months, God answered my prayers. I heard someone had come and was asking for me. Muhammad Akram was afraid to lose me as his wife. He said, 'Tell the people you are Muslim now and you don't want to go with them.' The kiln owner called me into his office. He had some people with him, including the pastor. They seemed like very powerful people. After a big conversation, the owner agreed to release me if they paid my debt amount, which was $1,100 (U.S.).

"The next day, May 26, the day my marriage was supposed to take place, the pastor came with the money. They paid the money to the kiln owner, but Muhammad Akram was very angry. He beat and injured the pastor, but
I was still set free.

"Wow, what a moment! I cried before my Lord, 'I am released! I am free! I can go where I want to go. Oh Jesus, I thank You. Oh my beautiful Lord, You heard my prayers. I also wept at that time, because I missed my mother.

"One of the Christian brothers brought me to his home. His wife was very happy to see me. She is just like a mother. God provided me with a father, mother, brothers and sisters. This brother told me about the people who paid
my debt. I was anxious to see them.

"The next day I met some of those who helped me, a man and two young girls. I hugged them and cried. They cried with me. The next morning I went to their house. Everybody warmly welcomed me. They put me in a room
I where I slept. There was no fear, no worries. I was free.

"After lunch the man took me to the market. The girls helped me pick out clothes, shoes, a hag, towel, soap, toothpaste and many things which I needed. Although I have no brother or sisters, God has provided me with a great family. I am praying in my heart for all these people who helped me, saved me and protected me. May God bless them and encourage them to do more and more for His Kingdom."

Distant Disciples

We read in Luke 22:54”…Peter followed at a distance.” The pressure had been put on Peter. Jesus was arrested and taken to the Supreme Court of the land. I’m sure he wondered if he would be next. It was at that point he began to “follow at a distance.” His plans were failing. He had already sacrificed much to follow this man for Galilee. Perhaps he had decided he would not sacrifice more. So he “followed from a distance.”

What causes us to follow Jesus from a distance? Why are we so quick to let Jesus go on ahead and we will wait with all the others here? I cannot find victory over life when I follow at a distance.

How often have we wanted to live successfully rather than victoriously? We want others to think of us as being successful. We believe if we are a success then others will like us and we are now somebody. When we live this way we follow Jesus at a distance.

God calls us to be victorious rather than successful. We will face many opportunities to follow Jesus from a distance. We will struggle with people, events and ourselves. Victorious people seek God in the midst of all of life. Their heartaches, pains and problems become places to draw nearer to God and discover His strength, grace and love. Victorious people do not seek deliverance from their problems as much as they seek discovery. They want to discover more of God. Then they discover the power of his presence. They discover that God was hiding in the midst of the situation. So they discover grace of his presence.

Distance or discovery, which will it be? When have I felt distance between God and myself? What was the reason for it? If there is distance between God and myself, guess who moved?

A Theist Loving

Last week a friend of mine came into my office and gave me a copy of a newspaper touting the growth of atheism in our country and world. 20 millions Americans describe themselves as atheist or agnostic. This represents about 7.5% of our population.

Reading the articles (there were two) I realize that many of these people are just reacting to negative encounters with those who believe. Many in Europe are reacting to the Muslims who are destroying life in the name of their faith. Others are disturbed over the violence done by Christians to other Christians.

It is easy for those of us who believe to just get angry with them and tell them to “take a long hike up a short pier.” Why should we consider the 7.5% who do not believe? For those of us who are followers of Jesus the answer is simply, “Because Jesus died for them also.”

I wonder how these unbelievers would react to meeting a genuine Christian who lives out the character of Jesus. He is loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, gentle, and self-controlled (Galatians 5:22) This Christian listens with an open heart to the words, pain and questions of the unbeliever. He responds to our atheist friend not with platitudes and empty clichés but with a compassionate heart.

Befriending our atheist acquaintances and showing them the love, grace and joy of our Lord may just be what some of them are watching for. Human nature being what it is will deny or ignore that which has hurt or attacked it.

Love them, pray for them and watch for opportunities to display the character of the One we are following in front of them, we might just discover a new friend in the midst of his unbelief. The greatest thing our Lord has given us to help our wounded world is His love. Many can fight against our words. Many will respond to our anger with anger. But few are they who know how to handle the gracious love of our Savior!

What did I say I meant?

What does it mean to communicate? Have you ever noticed that there are times that two people are on different wavelengths? We are saying words but the meaning is nowhere to be found.

Roger asked a woman named Elaine out to a movie. She accepted and they had a pretty good time. They continue to see each other regularly. One evening while they are driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine. Elaine says to Roger, "Do you realize we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

Silence fills the car and to Elaine it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself, "Gee, I wonder if that bothers him that I said that? Maybe he feels confined by' our relationship. Maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some type of obligation." Roger is thinking, "Wow! Six months!"
Elaine continues thinking to herself, "Well, I'm not sure I want this kind of relationship either! Are we heading toward marriage.., toward children.., toward a lifetime together'? Am I ready for that kind of commitment? Do I even know this person'?

And Roger is thinking, "So that means February... that's when we started going out. That's right after I had the car at the dealers, which means.., let me check the odometer... whoa! I'm way overdue for an oil change!"
Elaine is thinking, "He's upset. I can see it in his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship: more intimacy, more commitment. Maybe he senses my reservations... Yes, that's it; he's afraid of being rejected."

Roger is thinking, ''I'm going to have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right.., and they better not try to tell me it's just the cold weather this time! It's 87 degrees outside and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.!"

Elaine is thinking, "He's angry and I don't blame him. I'd be angry too. I feel so guilty putting him through this, but I can't help it. I just can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure. Roger is thinking, "They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty... that's what they'll say!" Elaine is thinking, "Maybe I'm too idealistic, waiting on a knight to come riding on his white horse. I'm sitting next to a perfectly good person, who is in pain because of my self-centered, school-girl fantasy." Roger is thinking, "Warranty... I'll give them a warranty!"

"Roger", Elaine says aloud. "What?"', asks Roger. "I'm such a fool!" Elaine says, sobbing. "I know there is no knight and no horse!" "No horse?" Roger says. "You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Elaine asks. "Oh, no." Roger says.
"Oh, it's just that I need some time, Roger" Elaine cries.

There is then about a 15 second pause, while Roger tries to come up with a safe response. "Yes" he finally says. Elaine, deeply moved, touches Roger's hand. "Oh, Roger, do you really' feel that way?" "What way?" asks Roger. "That way... about time" is Elaine's reply. "Oh," says Roger, "yes... yes."

Elaine gazes deeply into Roger's eyes, causing him to be very nervous about what she may say next... especially if' it's about a horse! At last Elaine says, "Thank you, Roger." "Oh, thank you!" Roger responds.

Roger then takes Elaine home and she lies on her bed, a conflicted soul, weeping until dawn. Whereas Roger gets back to his place, opens a bag of chips, turns on the TV and immediately gets involved in a rerun of F-Troop. A tiny voice tells him, in his mind, something really major was going on back in the car, but he feels it's best not to really think about it.

The next day, Elaine calls her closest friend and they talk for six straight hours, going into complete detail about her conversation with Roger, analyzing everything she said and everything he said. They continue to discuss the subject for weeks, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never really getting bored either.

Just for Today

Do you ever feel overwhelmed? Perhaps a better question is, “When haven’t you felt overwhelmed?” Life can seem like a hurricane that comes crashing into our lives with a force that threatens to destroy us. We are besieged with demands on our time, the stress of our job, the needs of our family, and the desire to succeed. We come to the end of a week and we realize that we have not really had time to celebrate each day that the Lord gave us.

Jesus tells us: “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:34 NIV)

We must learn to celebrate TODAY!

Just for today:
I will lift my eyes toward Him and seek to tell Him of my love for Him.

Just for today:
I will lay my questions down at His feet and leave them there.

Just for today:
I will express my praise for Him. I will rejoice in who He is!

Just for today:
I will listen for His still small voice. His Spirit will speak: “This is the way, walk in it.”

Just for today:
I will place tomorrow in His hands and refuse to worry. Then when tomorrow comes, behold, it is another TODAY!

The Right Now Journey

Life is a journey. We travel down the road that God sets before us. As we follow the path we face daily choices. Many are mundane. The most important choice we make is our decision to rejoice in Jesus in every moment. “One of those days” I penned the following:

Right now is the moment to enjoy life and enjoy God. This minute I can celebrate the wonder of the God who knows me, loves me and accepts me.

The right now is filled with His presence. This very minute overflows with His blessing. In faith I can reach up to Him with both hands and grasp hands-full of His life.

All along God seeks to pour His joyous life into mine. Yet, He can’t fill a life that is full of other stuff. God in His love has worked emptying my life, my hands of all I was hanging onto. Gently, caringly, and compassionately He has slowly pried my fingers loose. I have felt the pain of the loss as my stuff fell into God’s hands.

Now, in this minute, God speaks, “My child, lift your hands, lift your heart and lift your life up to me and I will fill them.” I can discover the freedom of an empty heart that is filling up with His blessings.

I experience the peace of His presence, the joy of Jesus, the hope of Heaven, the grace of God, the wealth of my weaknesses, the strength of my Savior, the blessings of belief and the love of His life in me—

Right now, in this very moment.

For the Love of a Woman

In 1904 a railroad camp of civil engineers was set up near Knoxville, Tennessee. The L & N campsite had tents for the men, a warm camp-fire, a good cook and the most modern surveying equipment available. In fact, working as a young civil engineer for the railroad at the turn of the century presented only one real drawback: a severe shortage of eligible young women.

Benjamin Murrell was one such engineer. A tall, reticent man with a quiet sense of humor and a great sensitivity for people, Ben enjoyed the nomadic railroad life. His mother had died when he was only thirteen, and this early loss caused him to become a loner.

Like all the other men, Ben sometimes longed for the companionship of a young woman, but he kept his thoughts between himself and God. On one particularly memorable spring day, a marvelous piece of information was passed around the camp: The boss's sister-in-law was coming to visit! The men knew only three things about her: She was nineteen years old, she was single and she was pretty By mid-afternoon the men could talk of little else. Her parents were sending her to escape the yellow fever that was invading the Deep South and she'd be there in only three days.

Someone found a tintype of her, and the photograph was passed around with great seriousness and grunts of approval. Ben watched the preoccupation of his friends with a smirk. He teased them for their silliness over a girl they'd never even met. "Just look at her, Ben. Take one look and then tell us you're not interested," one of the men retorted. But Ben only shook his head and walked away chuckling.

The next two days found it difficult for the men of the L & N engineering camp to concentrate. The train would be there early Saturday morning and they discussed their plan in great detail. Freshly bathed, twenty heads of hair carefully greased and slicked back, they would all be there to meet that train and give the young woman a railroad welcome she wouldn't soon forget. She'd scan the crowd, choose the most handsome of the lot and have an instant beau. Let the best man win, they decided. And each was determined to be that man.

The men were too preoccupied to see Ben's face as he beheld the picture of Virginia Grace for the first time. They didn't notice the way he cradled the photograph in his big hands like a lost treasure, or that he gazed at it for a long, long time. They missed the expression on his face as he looked first at the features of the delicate beauty, then at the camp full of men he suddenly perceived to be his rivals. And they didn't see Ben go into his tent, pick up a backpack and leave camp as the sun glowed red and sank beyond a distant mountain.

Early the next morning, the men of the L & N railroad camp gathered at the train station. Virginia's family, who had come to pick her up, rolled their eyes and tried unsuccessfully not to laugh. Faces were raw from unaccustomed shaves, and the combination of men's cheap colognes was almost obnoxious. Several of the men had even stopped to pick bouquets of wildflowers along the way.

At long last the whistle was heard and the eagerly awaited train pulled into the station. When the petite, vivacious little darling of the k & N camp stepped onto the platform, a collective sigh escaped her would-be suitors. She was even prettier than the tintype depicted. Then every man's heart sank in collective despair. For there, holding her arm in a proprietary manner and grinning from ear to ear, was Benjamin Murrell. And from the way she tilted her little head to smile up into his face, they knew their efforts were in vain.
"How," his friends demanded of Ben later, "did you do that?"

"Well," he said, "I knew I didn't have a chance with all you scoundrels around. I'd have to get to her first if I wanted her attention, so I walked down to the previous station and met the train. I introduced myself as a member of the welcoming committee from her new home."

"But the nearest station is seventeen miles away!" someone blurted incredulously "You walked seventeen miles to meet her train? That would take all night?"

"That it did," he affirmed.

Benjamin Murrell courted Virginia Grace, and in due time they were married. They raised five children and buried one, a twelve-year-old son. They worked together on their relationship by being faithful to one another, treating each other with consideration and respect, having a sense of humor, bringing up their children in the knowledge of love of the Lord, and loving one another through some very difficult circumstances.

I am one of Benjamin and Virginia's great-grandchildren. He died when I was a baby, unfortunately, so I have no memory of him. NaNa (Virginia) died when I was twelve and she was eighty-five. When I knew her she was a shriveled old woman who needed assistance to get around with a walker and whose back was hunched over from osteoporosis. Her aching joints were swollen with arthritis and her eyesight was hindered by the onset of glaucoma. At times, though, those clouded eyes would sparkle and dance with the vivaciousness of the girl my great-grandfather knew. They danced especially when she told her favorite story It was the story of how she was so pretty that once, on the basis of a tintype, an entire camp turned out to meet the train and vie for her attention. It was the story of how one man, who had a vision of her, walked seventeen miles, all night long, for a chance to meet the woman of his dreams and claim her for his wife.
From Stories for a Man’s Heart; page 53 ff

It's Revealing!

We struggle with so many things in this life, but the one thing we struggle the most with is US. Many of the problems of life would be easier if WE did not focus so much on what WE want, need and desire.

There are many things that our Lord uses to help us keep ourselves under His control. He will use people that we might have a personality conflict with to reveal the depths of SELF that are still in us. We keep butting heads with them or pray that God will straighten them out when all the time He wants to straighten US out.

If Jesus lives in me, if I am developing His character in me and if I allow Him to mold me then I will be constantly bumping into ME. I get in Jesus’ way when He is growing and stretching me. I discover this when I clash with another person. I discover this when I allow life to direct me. These clashes, bumps and collisions are God’s way of revealing me to me. My reaction to these things reveals the depth of my walk with the Lord.

The weakest moments of my life drive me to God. It is here I discover His strength. It is in the height of the moment I can choose to walk in the depths of His grace. It is in the moments that I feel the most empty that He can fill me the fullest.

Strength in weakness, life in death, joy in struggle – the legacy of allowing God to use our clashes to grow us. It is worth it!

The STRENGTH of pain

It appears to me that, at times, God walks us through what St. John of the Cross calls The Dark Night of the Soul. This is a time when God seems distant, our prayers empty and our lives barren. We might feel despair, discouraged and depressed.

Henri Nouwen writes: “There is a real pain in your heart, a pain that belongs to you. You know now that you cannot avoid, ignore or repress it. It is this pain that reveals to you how you are called to live. You are living in solidarity with the broken human race. You must distinguish carefully between your pain and the pains that have attached themselves to you…When you feel rejected, when you think of yourself as a failure and a misfit, you must be careful not to let these feelings and thoughts pierce your heart.” (The Inner Voice of Love; page 97)

Yet, struggling with the pain and heartache may be the exact place God wants us to be. Why? During this time when our senses are darkened and our desires thwarted God is preparing supernaturally illumine our spirits. All of our senses might feel empty and void, like there is a thick, dark cloud over them. We feel afflicted and far from God. Yet, the greater the darkness we journey through, the more strength and security we will discover in God.

Perhaps this is the lesson Paul learned as he wrote in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 “To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." NIV

When I realized how weak I was, then I was on the road to gaining God’s strength.

Dying to live; Living to die

What is life really all about? We hear and read that it is about making more money, having more “toys”, being seen as a success in the eyes of your peers, being part of the “in” group, etc. We see many who have “achieved” some of these, yet they are still floundering in life. What if life is really about dying so that you can live and living so you will never die?

It is hard to remember that life is not about success, acceptance or stuff. We need to learn to let go of all the things we think we really need. We often get upset, angry or depressed when God fails to answer our prayers our way and give us what we want.

Over and over God speaks to us telling us that we can let go, release these things that have power over us and truly find life in Him. Death is the release of me so that the life of Jesus is free to run through all my life.

Living in this death means we no longer need to be first, successful, rich or valued. We are living in Jesus. We only need to be gracious, loving, giving, compassionate, caring, joyous and peaceful. Living in this way makes us more alive than ever before. We are alive to the moving of our Lord’s Spirit. We are live to how the Lord might work through us to serve others. We are living above the draw of this world and my flesh.

We are Alive!

The Blood of the Heart

YLife hands us many wounds, hurts and pains that land in our hearts. Sometimes it seems as if our hearts have been cracked or broken. The pain can get so bad that we literally hurt physically. Have you ever been there?

YWhen life dishes out these events that damage our hearts, these events leave blotches and their imprints on us. Our hearts get cluttered by these things. As time passes, these blotches can increase in number and size. It can get to the point where we can no longer recognize our hearts and what should be in them. If we do not deal with them, our identity gets warped around these pains and heartaches of life. We are no longer able to love as we should, enjoy life as God intended it and love others.

YHow do we resolve these heart issues? We must first begin to tear down the walls that we have built around our hearts to keep us safe from any other hurts. The walls not only keep other hurts out, they also keep us from freeing ourselves from the clutter that is in our heart.

YWe read in the Scripture: “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.” 1 John 1:7 NIV We know that Jesus’ blood cleanses us from sin and opens the door to heaven. Yet, we still live in our own little hell here made up of the hurts others have caused us. We are faced with a dilemma. We must open our hearts to Jesus and allow his blood to penetrate to the depths of our being and truly cleanse us from ALL sin, even the sins others have done to us.

YOpening our hearts to Jesus is scary. We are exposing our hearts to God and embracing the hurt so that He can heal it. We are admitting that, Yes this happened, but I no longer need to hide behind it. It has shaped my life too long. Now I am opening all of my interior life to Jesus so that He can begin the cleansing process and bring healing to my life. We are accepting the hurts and allowing God to use them to mold us into the person he knows we can be.

YWe are making a choice to give the hurt to God, letting Jesus free us from it, and letting the pain shape us into a godly person. It moves us into a place of grace, forgiveness and mercy. It is allowing the heart of Jesus to live out of my heart now. This is freeing. I am free from the events affects upon my life. The emotions associated with them slowly begin to fade away.

Y When I remember them, I begin to see the good things that God is bringing out of them. We can do what the Apostle Paul did: “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Phil 3:13-14 NIV

Y Our hearts and lives are no longer limited in their ability to love, enjoy life, express our faith and grow in our relationships. We are no longer critical, angry, defeated and blaming of others. The blotches on our hearts have been healed in the power of the blood of Jesus.

Consider the END

“Show me, O Lord, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is.” (Psalm 39:4) NIV

How many of us live only for the present, the now? Tomorrow does come. We know that Jesus told us to worry about tomorrow, yet the Scripture does tell us to consider the end.

Why do we frown on considering the end of our lives? Perhaps it is due to the fact that we do not want to face the idea that we are mortal. We become too busy satisfying our senses. We must feel, express, be happy and go for the gusto. Living this way causes us to not have to stop and consider our life’s end.

In the book, Tuesdays with Morrie, we read this discussion between the author and Morrie:

“Weren’t you ever afraid to grow old?”
“Mitch, I embrace aging.”
“Embrace it?”
“It’s very simple. As you grow, you learn more. If you stayed twenty-two, you’d always be as ignorant as you were at twenty-two. Aging is not just decay, you know. It’s growth. Its more than the negative that you’re going to die, it’s also the positive that you understand you’re going to die, and that you live a better life because of it. …(Those wishing that they were young again reflect) unsatisfied lives. Unfulfilled lives. Lives that haven’t found meaning. Because if you’ve found meaning in your life, you don’t want to go back. You want to go forward. You want to see more, do more. You can’t wait until you’re sixty-five. … You have to find what is good and true and beautiful in your life as it is now.” Tuesdays with Morrie, pages 118-120

What will really be important when we draw our final breath and our heart ceases to beat? JESUS and our walk with Him! Jesus is what is what makes this life good and true and beautiful. When we consider our life’s end we discover that living in the now for Jesus makes the end a WOW for us.

We focus on the end and live in the today and enjoy each moment of everyday but honoring Jesus. That day when we stand before Him, we will see Him smile down upon us, place his arms around us and welcome us into that eternal day. We will celebrate with Him wonders that our eyes have never seen, joys our emotions have never experienced and things we could never have imagined. Consider that end!

Dying INTO Life

Henri Nouwen writes: “Maybe the death at the end of your life won’t be so fearful if you can die well now. Yes, real death—the passage from time into eternity, from the transient beauty of the world to the lasting beauty of the next, from darkness into light has to be made now.” (Inner Voice of Love; page 107) Jesus told us that he who loses his life will save it.

How often has God walked us through mountains and valleys in our sojourn here to show us the places in our hearts where we have not died? Fear, worry, anxiety and stress all reveal the life of the flesh and the need to die in Jesus.

It seems to me that the areas where we want to hang onto are the places God puts his hand on and tenderly says, “This must die.”

I discover that I often fight against the love and wisdom of God crying, “No, Lord! Anything but that. I can’t let go of it.” So in that moment, I close my fist tightly over it. Afraid, anxious and nervous—these emotions come because I refuse to die to what God has placed his hand on. These feelings last as long as I hang onto the thing God wants me to let go of.

There comes a time when the longing for freedom from the struggle comes to the breaking point. At that moment God wraps his arms around us and gently beings to pry our fingers off of what we are clinging to. He whispers in our ears, “Trust me. Die to this. Let go. And you will find freedom for your soul.”

Dying is not an emptying. It is filling our hearts, souls, minds and spirits with Jesus. This freedom lasts forever.

Direction Correction

I recently read a passage of Scripture from Jeremiah 10:23-24 that reads: “I know, O Lord, that a man’s life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps. Correct me, Lord, but only with Justice—not in anger, let you reduce me to nothing.” NIV

As I considered that passage I thought about how many of us think our lives are our own. I claim many things as mine: my time; my feelings; my home; my family; my car; my money; etc. Yet my life is NOT my own. When I claim these things as my own I am really assuming God’s place.

If I really KNOW that my life is not my own, then I live and act like it is God’s. So if he wants my time to be filled with inconsequential things, it is all right. If he wants me to struggle with health issues, there is a reason—My life is NOT my own!

These verses from Jeremiah also tell us that it is not for us to direct our steps. I considered what often directs my steps—my own feelings, other people or events that occur. Yet, the Lord of all must direct our steps. I can almost hear Jesus say to me: “Mike, do you not know that your life is not yours? It is mine. Remember that I will direct your steps.”

Finally, Jeremiah asks the Lord to correct him. What would it mean in our lives if we really prayed for the Lord to correct us? What would his just correction look like in our lives? Yet, I often need for our Lord to correct my focus, my way, my feelings and my heart.

It seems that when I allow Jesus to have his claim on my life, direct my steps and correct me, then my life takes on a divine direction and has Kingdom meaning. I begin to discover that I truly CAN do all things through Jesus who strengthens me! Amazing how simple it all really is!

Looking, Seeing - BLIND

Moses realized that no one could look upon God and live – live as he always has. When we see God as He really is, death comes into our lives. Death comes to our desires, our wants, our direction, and even our hearts. If we struggle with these things then we need to realize that we have not looked fully upon God.

What do I see when I look upon God?
I will see the wondrous face of my Friend. This Friend came to me at my greatest hour of need. This Friend reached out to me when I rejected Him the most. My Friend loved me when I was ugly, smelly and rotten in my heart. I see my Friend who is always faithful.

When I look upon my Friend, I also see me. As I gaze into his eyes I see the reflection of His Cross. On it he took all my sin, my failures and my lostness. I see me, as I am and as He knows I can be. I am seeing freedom—freedom from all the power of self and the flesh.

Do we have God blinded hearts? If I have a God blinded heart then I will see nothing of me in my life. Why? Seeing God blinds me to me!

If I have a God blinded heart, I see God at work everywhere and in everything. I see Him in the good and in what I consider “bad.” If God is there in all things then can anything be truly “bad?” If I have a God blinded heart, then the answer is “no.”

If I have a God blinded heart I live a Godward life. My entire life is directed Godward. Godward living moves me away from self-ward living.

A God blinded heart means that the glory of God fills me heart—all of it. God awesome glory blinds me to what I want (selfishness) and reveals to me what He wants.

So when I really look upon God and see my Friend my heart becomes blind to me. The light of my Friend drives the darkness from me and blinds me to all except my loving Friend.

Have I really looked upon God? Am I living the way I always have?

LIFE- for all its worth

In this week following Easter I am forced to remember that real life is seen in what you are willing to make sacrifices for. One book that I am currently reading (and I am reading about 10 others) is called “Tuesdays with Morrie.” It is about a sports reporter for the Detroit Free Press who visits his old professor, named Morrie, who is dying of Lou Gehrig’s Disease. Morrie speaks about life. He says: “So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.” (Tuesdays with Morrie; page 43)

Living a life that is sacrificial, that gives meaning for those of us who follow Jesus, means that we will live a life of woundedness. We follow the wounded Healer. How much of our lives is lived trying to avoid being wounded? Yet, Jesus knows that what will bring divine meaning into our lives is discovering His life in the midst of our wounds.

The life of Jesus arises within us when the wounding humbles us. For God is opposed to the proud but gives grace to the humble. His life grows when we seek His comfort. His life increases as we are empowered in Him through our weaknesses. Our woundedness scours away the rust of a dreary, dull and lackluster spiritual life. We discover that life, real life, true life, God’s life has taken on a rich, full meaning within us.

Are you really living? Are you really dying?

The Pharisee in ME

Have you ever been the recipient of a judgmental, Pharisee attack? Perhaps a better question is, ‘Have you ever been one who was judgmental and pharisaical?

This incident happened at Loyola University in New Orleans in the summer of 1981 and comes from the book Ragmuffin Gospel, by Brennan Manning:
Dr. Meghan McKenna was lecturing on the New Testament milieu in which Jesus' ministry began. The four Prominent religious groups were the Pharisees, Sadducees, Zealots, and Essenes. The Pharisees separated themselves from everyone who was not faithful to the law and the traditions, in order to form a closed community. Their name means ‘the separate ones.’… They believed that God loved and rewarded the ones who kept the law and hated and punished those who did not.

The sinners were the social outcasts. Anyone who for any reason deviated from the law and the customs of the middle class was treated as inferior, as low class.
When the lecture ended, Dr. McKenna suggested: ‘Let’s do a little exercise right here in the classroom. Would all those who do not smoke stand up, walk to the left and stand by the wall. And reformed smokers stand in the center of the room. Those who still smoke from a group on the right.

Thirty of the professionals had never smoked, twelve were reformed and three were active smokers. “At that time,’ (a lady named) Roslyn said, ‘I belonged to the latter group on the right.’

‘Let’s discuss two questions,’ Mekenna said. ‘First, how do you feel about the current smoking regulations on campus, in restaurants, airports, the corporate world, and so forth?"

All three groups unanimously agreed that the regulations were good, ecologically important, and sensitive to the health and welfare of others.

'The second question: How do you feel about smokers personally?’
‘They are disgusting and inconsiderate,’ said one nonsmoker.
‘Obviously anyone who smokes has low self-esteem and a lousy self-image,’ voiced another. 'They have no will power.’ ‘Rotten role models for teenagers.’ ‘I have serious questions about the quality of their faith and depth of their personal relationship with Christ.’ ‘Don't they know they are poisoning the atmosphere?’

Roslyn remarked: ‘I cowered against the far wall feeling like the woman caught in adultery. Suddenly the environment was so hostile. For the past four years of graduate school, I had prayed, worshiped, gone on picnics, taken coffee breaks, studied, and conversed with these people. I felt a deep sense bonding because of our shared life and ministry. The reformed smokers were much more understanding because they had been there-the place of addiction. At first, I was angry. When the inner rage finally subsided, I wanted to weep. I have never felt so alone.’

The bell sounded and class ended. We filed out of the room in silence. The next day Dr. McKenna, following her usual proce­dure, asked her students to share their feelings and reactions to the exercise of the previous day.

‘Yesterday I learned something about myself,’ said the woman who had made the harshest and most judgmental comments during the exercise. ‘I need a lot more compassion for people who are different than myself.’

‘How did you feel yesterday, Roslyn?’ inquired Dr. McKenna.

‘When I was standing against the wall, I actually thought the group #1 people would have thrown stones at us were they available. I realize how difficult it was for me to look at them and say, ‘Father forgive them for they know not what they do.’

Soul Survivor

Over the last year I read a book titled Deep Survival. It is not a Christian book but I read it during a time in my life when I was struggling to “survive.” The book was about people who survived in the wilderness or survived plane crashes and the lessons that one could learn from them. It dealt with the question, why did this person survive and that one didn’t?

What lessons came out of that study? Here are a few:
· Survivors turn anger and fear into focus – they get their attention on the matter at hand.
· Survivors perceive their situation correctly, make a plan, take correct action and when confronted with a changing environment, readily adapt.
· Survivors learned to use humor and laughter. Laughter stimulates an area of the brain that helps us temper negative emotions. This helps us manage fear.
· The survivor expects the world to keep changing and is asking the question: “What’s up?” Many times the world around us is changing and we are not taking in the new information. A survivor attends to the business of adapting to the changes in the environment and keeps themselves in balance.
· Survivors maintained a positive mental attitude – One survivor said: “Think good thoughts and you’ll be saved.” Many who died had apathy. Apathy led to complete deterioration.
· Helping someone else also enabled survivors to survive. Helping others takes you out of yourself and rise above your fears.
· The survivor made plans by setting small, manageable goals.
· Survival involves being familiar with pain. Another survivor wrote: “You have to practice hurting. There is no question about it … you have to learn a bunch of junk and accept it with a sense of humor.”
· Faith also played an important role in survival. It was discovered that survivors spent their lives building a core of strength that they pulled from in the moment of struggle.

I know that in the course of life we want to do more than just survive. I want to thrive. Yet, there are places where the journey we walk takes us into deep valleys. If we have been building up a core strength in our Lord and growing in Him, we will discover that we can not only survive, but thrive in the midst of the darkness.

Web Site research

From: the things I researched from other web sites comes this one:

Things to consider . . .
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why isn't 11 pronounced onety-one?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
And finally . . . What's in a name?
That's the question being posed to readers of the trade publication The Bookseller. Those readers are being invited to vote for the annual Diagram Prize for the Oddest Title of the Year. Nominees were proposed by publishers, booksellers and librarians.
The nominees are:
~ Tattooed Mountain Women and Spoon Boxes of Daghestan
~ How Green Were the Nazis?
~ D. Di Mascio's Delicious Ice Cream: D. Di Mascio of Coventry -- An Ice Cream Company of Repute, with an Interesting and Varied Fleet of Ice Cream Vans
~ The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America: A Guide to Field Identification
~ Proceedings of the Eighteenth International Seaweed Symposium
~ Better Never To Have Been: The Harm of Coming into Existence
Last year's winner was People Who Don't Know They're Dead: How They Attach Themselves to Unsuspecting Bystanders and What to Do About It by Gary Leon Hill. The competition has been running since 1978, when the winner was Proceedings of the Second International Workshop on Nude Mice

Failing Forward

Have there ever been times when you felt like a failure? It seemed that all you did and tried came to naught. Friends misunderstood you. You even began to question yourself. Life gets hard at times. How do you handle this?

Some escape in a sea of action like sports, hunting, work, and other hobbies. Others escape in alcohol, drugs and overeating. The key word is “escape.” We feel the need to “get away” from ourselves. Yet, everywhere we turn, there we are {as some bright child once said!}. You cannot escape you.

How do we deal with the hard stuff of life? Isaiah wrote: "But I said, 'I have labored to no purpose; I have spent my strength in vain and for nothing. Yet what is due me is in the LORD's hand, and my reward is with my God.'" Isaiah 49:4 NIV

Isaiah expresses our feelings. He had worked and nothing was accomplished, nothing got better. He is worn out. His strength is spent. He has discovered how weak he has become. The Lord told Paul: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV

Now notice the other thing Isaiah tells us: Yet what is due me is in the LORD's hand, and my reward is with my God. Here is the place where we decide if we really believe this. Do I really know that what is due me is in the Lord’s hand and not in mine? Do I trust Him with the results of my labor and not look at my expectations?

We deal with the hard stuff of life by trusting in Jesus and not in ourselves or others. We do not seek to escape, we seek to learn and understand GOD in the midst of the trial. We may never grasp why we have walked the journey we are on. Letting the results be in God’s hand is freeing. Through this freedom healing will eventually come. “Experientially, the inner healing of the heart is seldom a sudden catharsis or an instant liberation…More often it is a gentle growing oneness with the Crucified who has achieved our peace through His blood on the Cross.” Brennan Manning; in The Rabbi’s Heartbeat; page 54

Mike Yankoski expresses a prayer that helps us walk this path: “Lord, thank you for taking terrible circumstances and turning them into amazing gifts…Move my heart to be truly generous with what you have given me.”

Hang in there!

James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. NIV

We read in this that growth and maturity come through times of trials and testing. How does this maturity happen? A desert father wrote: “Adversities do not make you miserable, but they disclose to you and teach you what you were already.” Guigo I; Meditations.

The times of struggle are times when God just might be revealing to you what is in your heart. We will begin to realize that we are not as strong in faith as we thought we were. God is showing us how much we need to depend upon Him.

In the midst of this time of struggle we begin to see the truth of who we are and what God offers us, yet it is still difficult to completely trust in God. “There is usually a good span of time between our first awakening and complete faith. During such days we pray the same prayer the sick boy’s father prayed: ‘I do believe. Help me overcome my unbelief.’ In other words, this prayer means, ‘I am no longer in darkness. My soul has seen Your light. But I am not yet able to believe completely. The light is dim. Lord, help me.’” Francis DeSales; Living in Love.

This is the place where perseverance comes into play. Will I keep going and keep trusting God or will I give up? God takes us like a bow that He stretches, and at a certain point we say, “I can’t stand this anymore.” But God does not heed. He goes on stretching because He is aiming at His mark, not ours – we must hang on until God lets the arrow fly. Then we will discover the target that God has placed in front of us. At this point we begin to discover the power of trusting God and allowing Him to walk us through the struggle.

Let me leave you with a couple of thoughts from the desert fathers who have walked in this path of hardship:

The best source of help is the one that most exercises our faith, puts to shame human wisdom, makes us simple and humble and undeceives us in respect to our own wisdom.” Francis Fenelon; the Best of Fenelon.

“When you suffer in any way, whether through fear, anger, hatred, or any kind of grief, you should only blame yourself for it – your craving, ignorance and laziness…Your injury and grief bear witness to your sin, for by abandoning God you have plainly fallen in love with something that can harm you.” Guigo I; Meditations.

Growing Old

The professor challenged his students to get to know someone they didn't already know. One of the football players felt a gentle touch on his shoulder and as he turned found a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at him. A smile lit her entire being. She said, "Hello handsome. My name is Rose and I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?"

He laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Sure you can Rose!" and he was given a giant squeeze. He asked with a twinkle in his eye, "Rose, why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?"

Immediately she responded, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple of kids, and then retire and travel."

"Seriously, why are you here? What's motivated you to take on this challenge at your age?"

She said, "I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told him. After class they walked to the student union building and shared a vanilla milkshake. They became instant friends. Every day for three months they would leave class together and talk nonstop. He was mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared from her vast experience and practical wisdom.

That year, Rose became a campus icon and made friends easily. She loved the attention the kids blessed her with. Her life was full. At the conclusion of the semester Rose was invited to speak at the football banquet. She taught them an important lesson. One could tell that she was a bit nervous and frustrated and a bit embarrassed. Her jitteriness caused her to drop her note cards on the floor. She looked at her audience and said, "I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know."

As the audience laughed she cleared her throat and began, "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy and achieving success in life. You have to laugh and find humor everyday. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.

“We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am 87 years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn 88. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change.

“Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."

She concluded her speech by courageously singing, "The Rose." She challenged each of those students to study the lyrics and live them out in their daily lives. At the end of the year Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never to late to be all you can possibly be.

The Fire of God's love

In Proverbs 17:3 we read: “The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold, but the LORD tests the heart.” NIV

The Lord uses fire to test us and reveal what is in our hearts. St. John of the Cross talks about this. I present to you a personal summary of a section of his book.

When fire begins to work on wood, it first must dry it out. Then it blackens the wood, making it dark and unsightly and even small bad. As the fire works it begins to drive away all the flaws. Finally the fire kindles the wood, gives it heat and light and transforms it into itself. The wood has now taken on the properties of the fire.

God’s love is like the fire. His love works in our hearts and on our lives. When we allow his love to work it begins driving out all the unsightliness within our hearts. This makes the situation seem worse that before. Our hearts are beginning to perceive themselves as they really are. God’s love is working through hardship (the crucible and the furnace) to remove the dross that exists within our hearts and lives. We are now seeing the imperfections and darkness that reside within us. Observing them now allows God’s love to begin to burn them all away.

As our hearts and lives are purged and purified, they are becoming more and more enkindled with the love of God. In essence we are taking on more of the character of God’s love. Our hearts and lives are becoming hotter and containing more divine light. (St. John of the Cross; The Dark Night of the Soul; pages 127-131)

The crucible and the furnace are doing their work!

Change the Diaper

Growth in our Lord can be difficult, for it involves change. For many of us change is difficult. We tend to like things the way they are even if it means struggle.

Mark Twain said: “The only person who likes change is a wet baby”

Some one else said: “If your religion does not change you, then you should change your religion.”
Charles Kettering is quoted as saying: "The world hates change, yet it is the only thing that has brought progress."

One of the major factors that God uses to bring change is adversity, struggle and pain. How many want to change when things are progressing well and there is prosperity?
God tries in many ways to get us to change and grow and when we don’t, He is forced to use trials to get us to wake up and look up and listen up.

God seeks to get us to yield everything in our lives up to Him and allow Him to take where He knows we need to be. This can be scary! Like Abraham of old, we discover that each next step is given to us only at the present moment. The entire plan of God is not spelled out for us in detail. “The reality of life for Christian men and women requires that they leave what is nailed down, obvious and secure and walk into the desert without rational explanations to justify their decisions or guarantee their future. Why? Solely and simply because God signals His movement and offers his promise.” (Brennan Manning; The Signature of Jesus; page 18)

Are we truly convinced of the reliability of God? Do we really believe He has our best interests at heart? Are we ready to grow and be changed into the image of Jesus?

Why we need God

An old Indian, after living many years in sin, was led to Christ by a missionary. Friends asked him to explain the change in his life. Reaching down, he picked up a little worm and placed it on a pile of leaves. Then, touching a match to the leaves, he watched them smolder and burst into flames. As the flames worked their way up to the center where the worm lay, the old chief suddenly plunged his hand into the center of the burning pile and snatched out the worm. Holding the worm gently in his hand, he gave this testimony to the grace of God: "Me. . . that worm!"

Let's Make a Deal

Elmer Kelen turned to leave the studio of a young Hungarian artist, Arpad Sebesy. He was angry and his parting words were, "That's a rotten portrait and I refuse to pay for it."

The artist was crushed. He had wasted weeks on this painting and now the 500 pengos that he was going to lose on the deal flashed through his mind. Bitterly he recalled that the millionaire had only posed three times, so that the painting had to be done virtually from memory. Still, he didn't think it was a bad likeness. Before the millionaire left his studio the artist called out, "One minute. Will you give me a letter saying you refused the portrait because it didn't resemble you?"

Glad to get off the hook so easily, Kelen agreed and wrote the letter. A few months later the Society of Hungarian Artists opened its exhibition at the Gallery of Fine Arts in Budapest. Soon afterwards Kelen's phone began to ring. Within a half an hour he appeared at the gallery and headed for the wing where a Sebesy painting was on display. It was the one he had rejected. He glanced at the title and his face turned purple. Storming into the office of the gallery manager, he demanded that the portrait be removed at once.

The manager explained quietly that all of the paintings were under contract to remain in the gallery the full six weeks of the exhibit. But Kelen raged, "But it will make me the laughing stock of Budapest. It's libelous. I'll sue!"

The manager turned to his desk, drew out the letter Kelen had written at Sebesy's request and said coolly, "Just a moment. Since you yourself admit that the painting does not resemble you, you have no jurisdiction over its fate."

In desperation Kelen offered to buy the painting, only to find the price now ten times that of the original figure. With his reputation at stake, Kelen immediately wrote out a check for 5000 pengos. Not only did the artist sell the rejected portrait to the man who had originally commissioned it, and get far more than the original price, but he achieved his revenge simply by exhibiting it with the title: Portrait of a Thief.

The Hollow Fruit

The tree looked strong and sturdy. The blossoms that spring were bright, beautiful and smelled wonderful. As the season progressed and the fruit began to grow, things changed. The fruit was small, shriveled and discolored. There were huge blemishes on it and the skin was wrinkled. It seemed that even the worms refused to eat the fruit. Finally the gardener was forced to chop the tree down and use it for firewood. When the tree finally fell, it was discovered that its heart was empty and rotten. Some type of disease had been eating the heart out of the tree. It was the fruit that exposed the hollowness of the tree.

Jesus said: “By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.” NIV Matthew 7:17-20

What kind of fruit is my heart producing? Is the fruit of my life sweet to all or only to myself. Does the fruit nourish the lives of those who sample it or does it make them sick to their stomach? Our hearts are trees producing fruit. If our fruit is only sweet to ourselves and makes us selfish, harsh, impatient and severe to our neighbors, while we think we are little saints…then we are bearing false, pernicious and rotten fruit. (adapted from Francis DeSales; An Introduction to the Devout Life) If you want to know what a person believes, where their heart is and what they are deep inside, do not listen to what they say, watch what they do. Observing the fruit of their lives reveals the contents of their hearts.

Jesus again reminds us in John 15:1-4 "I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me." NIV

Where do I abide? What am I producing? Where is God pruning me?

“O Lord, help me to remain in You. Let me bear heavenly fruit that nourishes life in your Kingdom!”

Praying Through the Heart

After the many years of prayer and seeking God, I discovered that there are many things that clutter our hearts. I am beginning to recognize that following Jesus means dealing with this clutter.

Prayer is seeing God in our heart. It is a careful attentiveness to the One who dwells in the center of our being and allowing Him to take total possession of us. We allow God to enter every heartbeat and every breath. God enters our thoughts, emotions, seeing and hearing. (adapted, Henri Nouwen; The Only Necessary Thing)

When we look for God in our hearts we discover the clutter that stands between Him and us. What we realize is that when we are fearful we are looking at the clutter and not at God. We lose touch with Him and lose touch with our hearts. There are fears that lie hidden and waiting in the depths of our hearts: fears of failing and letting God down or letting people down. There are fears of people, fears of the dark and fears of me {that if people knew me, they will not like me}. So we think we need to be outgoing, happy, always up, giving an apt answer and strong. The anxiety from all of this spreads over our lives like Noah’s flood.

When we decide to truly seek God in prayer, He pulls back the coverings of our hearts. We will not believe all that still hides there that is not of Him. The black spots dot the landscape as far as our eyes can see. These are the places, incidents, and emotions that I am afraid to trust God with. They are dark spots within my heart that God cannot fill without my permission.

Prayer is returning to our hearts and allowing God to take control of these fears. In prayer we find that God looks longingly into our eyes and holds out his hand for us to take. Grasping it, we know, means we will journey together through the dark blotches in our hearts. This journey through our hearts will be scary but also healing.

Will you in faith in Him, stretch out your hand, take His and allow this journey to begin? There is God’s divine life on the other side.

LIving out of the Heart of God

The Scripture says: "He (The Lord) tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young." Isaiah 40:11 NIV

God carriers us close to His heart. Have you ever heard the heartbeat of God? If I listen closely for the heartbeat of God I am seeking to understand Him, His ways and His burdens better so that I might live out of his heart.

God made his pierced heart a home for ever sinner. He longs for reconciliation and forgiveness. He seeks the lost and lonely sheep that have wandered away. His heart laughs with the child in us all. His heart weeps in our suffering. Every beat we hear pounds in rhythm to his longing for each of us to draw nearer and experience his life.

God’s heart is a heart of joy and of justice. His heart aches to hold the prodigal close. He gathers us all close to his heart so its beat might soothe our lives and bring us peace.

Knowing the heart of God allows his love to melt the ice in mine and seek to be reconciled to all. We love the one who has hurt us. We are sacrificial. God’s heart brings death to our lives that we might be raised to His life.

If I understand the heart of God then I understand the wounds of God. The wound of Jesus are becoming mine. I realize that “wounds are necessary. The soul has to be wounded as well as the body…The unwounded life bears no resemblance to Jesus.” (Brennan Manning, Abba’s Child, page 158)

We are called to live our lives out of the heart of God. What wonders could happen in our world when we do so!