What did I say I meant?

What does it mean to communicate? Have you ever noticed that there are times that two people are on different wavelengths? We are saying words but the meaning is nowhere to be found.

Roger asked a woman named Elaine out to a movie. She accepted and they had a pretty good time. They continue to see each other regularly. One evening while they are driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine. Elaine says to Roger, "Do you realize we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

Silence fills the car and to Elaine it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself, "Gee, I wonder if that bothers him that I said that? Maybe he feels confined by' our relationship. Maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some type of obligation." Roger is thinking, "Wow! Six months!"
Elaine continues thinking to herself, "Well, I'm not sure I want this kind of relationship either! Are we heading toward marriage.., toward children.., toward a lifetime together'? Am I ready for that kind of commitment? Do I even know this person'?

And Roger is thinking, "So that means February... that's when we started going out. That's right after I had the car at the dealers, which means.., let me check the odometer... whoa! I'm way overdue for an oil change!"
Elaine is thinking, "He's upset. I can see it in his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship: more intimacy, more commitment. Maybe he senses my reservations... Yes, that's it; he's afraid of being rejected."

Roger is thinking, ''I'm going to have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right.., and they better not try to tell me it's just the cold weather this time! It's 87 degrees outside and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.!"

Elaine is thinking, "He's angry and I don't blame him. I'd be angry too. I feel so guilty putting him through this, but I can't help it. I just can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure. Roger is thinking, "They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty... that's what they'll say!" Elaine is thinking, "Maybe I'm too idealistic, waiting on a knight to come riding on his white horse. I'm sitting next to a perfectly good person, who is in pain because of my self-centered, school-girl fantasy." Roger is thinking, "Warranty... I'll give them a warranty!"

"Roger", Elaine says aloud. "What?"', asks Roger. "I'm such a fool!" Elaine says, sobbing. "I know there is no knight and no horse!" "No horse?" Roger says. "You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Elaine asks. "Oh, no." Roger says.
"Oh, it's just that I need some time, Roger" Elaine cries.

There is then about a 15 second pause, while Roger tries to come up with a safe response. "Yes" he finally says. Elaine, deeply moved, touches Roger's hand. "Oh, Roger, do you really' feel that way?" "What way?" asks Roger. "That way... about time" is Elaine's reply. "Oh," says Roger, "yes... yes."

Elaine gazes deeply into Roger's eyes, causing him to be very nervous about what she may say next... especially if' it's about a horse! At last Elaine says, "Thank you, Roger." "Oh, thank you!" Roger responds.

Roger then takes Elaine home and she lies on her bed, a conflicted soul, weeping until dawn. Whereas Roger gets back to his place, opens a bag of chips, turns on the TV and immediately gets involved in a rerun of F-Troop. A tiny voice tells him, in his mind, something really major was going on back in the car, but he feels it's best not to really think about it.

The next day, Elaine calls her closest friend and they talk for six straight hours, going into complete detail about her conversation with Roger, analyzing everything she said and everything he said. They continue to discuss the subject for weeks, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never really getting bored either.